Tommy Brookshire

Dear Carolyn,

I received your letter at my school yesterday. I am so pleased to see you and other parents taking this issue of ATVs and children to Washington. I fully support the banning of these as well as other full size power vehicles for children.

Let me tell you about my experience. We lost our Tommy in May of 95. Almost ten years ago. We were at a friend's home and someone had brought a three wheeler. The kids were excited to try and my husband rode the two girls first, just around the yard. Tommy, a good sized 12 year old, was too big to ride double with his dad, so he asked us both if he could try it. With a helmet on (loose) and in first gear only he rode for less then five minutes and when going toward and embankment in the yard, he tried to brake, but instead accelerated and flew over the six foot drop. The ATV landed on him, his helmet had fallen off, and the base of his brain was crushed. He was killed instantly. One minute we were eating hamburgers and laughing together, the next he was dead, I had walked into the house and ran out as I heard my middle daughter scream. She had run down the hill with their dad as he pulled the ATV off Tommy. That sight is one that haunted me for years and traumatized my daughter at the tender age of 10.

Tommy was also a gifted student and an amazing son. He played saxophone in the band and was a talented writer and artist. He was handsome and funny as well as warm and affectionate. The years following his death were incredibly hard. Day after day I would wake up and think, Tommy is gone, how can I make it through this day, and night after night I would lie down and think, well, I made it through. My desire to help my two younger daughters, then 10 and 6, through this time was a source of courage for me. I knew I had to survive because they needed me. But even more essential to making it through that time to where I am today has been the certainty I feel that Tommy is with the Savior he loved and that I will see him again. Tommy was active in his church and for his age had a mature faith. I always felt that my children were a gift from God and that their lives are ultimately in His hands. Yes there were "if only's" and "what ifs" but not blame and guilt that can haunt a parent after an accident.

I know you are still very near James' death and the pain is still constant. It took years for me in that achingly painful place. But it did not last forever. I am not, nor will I ever be the same person I was before Tommy died. But grief, if expressed and experienced, does lessen over time. With a child's death, it is a very long time. Sadness and missing him still rise up from time to time, but I know Tommy wouldn't want those times to overpower the joy and love of the present. The grief you are experiencing won't kill you, but it will change you, deepen you and cause you to appreciate each day you have with the people you love. You'll get through this!

Let me know if I can be of support to you in this, or how I can help with your organization.

Maggie Brookshire

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